Famous people Orlando Bloom and Katy Perry are currently in Italy on vacation, indulging in all the vacationy activities people do on vacation: Frolicking on the beach! Applying sunscreen! Naked paddleboarding! What? Yes! No...? YES.

To add to the confusion, only one out of two of the paddleboarders were naked. We'll give you one guess who:

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Oh, Orlando, giving us the Vacation Peen, à la Justin Bieber. Why are you naked when Katy is in a bathing suit? We can see from other pictures that you were wearing swim trunks before nakeding up...so being naked wasn't a necessity. But also, like...why why WHY? Naked paddleboarding is problematic in many ways. So many ways! In fact, let us count the ways:

1. Sunburn

Lip, Hairstyle, Chin, Forehead, Eyebrow, Eyelash, Beauty, Long hair, Blond, Brown hair, pinterest

2. Jelly fish

Nose, Lip, Cheek, Hairstyle, Skin, Chin, Forehead, Eyebrow, Eyelash, Facial expression, pinterest

3. Sharks

Cheek, Finger, People, Fun, Hairstyle, Skin, Forehead, Eyebrow, Photograph, Facial expression, pinterest

4. Near-sighted seagulls

Eyewear, Vision care, Finger, Cheek, Forehead, Eyebrow, Photograph, Collar, Outerwear, Formal wear, pinterest

5. Unseasonably cool ocean breezes

Cheek, Hairstyle, Chin, Forehead, Eyebrow, Microphone, Facial expression, Iris, Electric blue, Blond, pinterest

6. Seaweed

Face, Nose, Mouth, Lip, Cheek, Hairstyle, Chin, Forehead, Eyebrow, Eyelash, pinterest

7. Freak lightening

Lip, Hairstyle, Chin, Eyebrow, Earrings, Beauty, Long hair, Eyelash, Muscle, Layered hair, pinterest

8. Rogue porpoises

Nose, Lip, Cheek, Skin, Chin, Forehead, Eyebrow, Jaw, Eyelash, Selfie, pinterest

9. Paparazzi

Cheek, Chin, Forehead, Eyebrow, Facial expression, Jaw, Temple, Portrait, Pleased, Portrait photography, pinterest

10. Increased potential for 'Bad Naked"