The 33-year-old actor and star of Emily In Paris, Lily Collins has revealed that she was once in a 'toxic relationship' and has spoken about the verbal and emotional abuse she suffered throughout it.
During an interview with author Glennon Doyle, as part of episode six of his We Can Do Hard Things podcast, Collins reflected on the negative time in her life and explained the effects the relationship had on her. 'My romantic, toxic relationship was a lot of verbal and emotional abuse and being made to feel very small,' she said. 'I became quite silent and comfortable in silence and feeling like I had to make myself small to feel super safe.'
The actor revealed that said relationship took place when she was in her early twenties, and that her ex would use 'awful words' and call her 'little Lily' and 'whore' to bring her confidence down. The toxic relationship also had a negative effect on her body and made her physically ill – though she says that at the time, she didn't realise there was a connection.
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'My skin was breaking out. I was having these panic attacks and I had kidney infections,' said Collins. 'All of these weird physical manifestations but I didn't, at that time of my life, put the two and two together as your body is telling you, "This is not something you're supposed to be in."'
The Emily In Paris star is now happily married to film director and screenwriter Charlie McDowell, whom she wed in 2021. Though the toxic relationship took place more than a decade ago, Collins revealed that she sometimes still finds herself haunted by the memory of it.
'Even if I'm in the most healthy relationship, there can be a moment that happens throughout the day where history comes back like that,' she explained. 'Your gut reacts, your heart drops and all of the sudden you're taken back to that moment where they said that thing to you 10 years ago but you're not in that situation now.'
If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please visit Women's Aid to find out more information and support online here or contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge, on 0808 2000 247.
Clementina Jackson is Acting Site Fashion Editor at ELLE UK, working across news and features, trends, e-commerce and SEO. She was previously Fashion Editor at Cosmopolitan and Women’s Health, and Acting Digital Fashion Editor at ELLE UK, where she was named as a PPA 30 Under 30 award winner for her work on size inclusivity. An experienced fashion, travel and luxury lifestyle journalist, Clementina has also written for Harper’s Bazaar, Vanity Fair, Condé Nast Traveller, Tatler, Red and Italy Segreta.
