Parents Are Angry At Chappell Roan's Motherhood Comments — But Stats On Mothers' Experiences Prove She Has A Point

After being the darling of 2024 and ending up on pretty much everyone’s Spotify Wrapped lists, Chappell Roan has landed herself in the middle of a parenting battleground. If you’ve managed to miss this on your social media feed, speaking on the Call Her Daddy podcast on March 26, Roan said that all her friends who have kids are ‘in hell’ adding: ‘I actually don’t know anyone who is like, happy and has children at this age. I have literally not met anyone who is happy, anyone who has light in their eyes, anyone who has slept.’

So far, so memeable — but after her comments, which were at the very least honest, were shared by just enough social media accounts, a backlash came for her, with some parents expressing anger at her thoughts. Our inability to accept that people have different opinions and the fact we seem unable to talk about almost any aspect of parenting without people expressing anger is frustrating, to say the least.

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Especially as new research from Good Housekeeping UK has confirmed what most mothers, who are frankly too tired to get angry and become keyboard warriors know — that motherhood is tough and it can negatively affect many aspects of your life.

Good Housekeeping’s Gentelligence project, which was released this week, studied the hopes, concerns and goals of women in the UK and surveyed 3,000 women to ask them about motherhood. Of those interviewed, 64% felt that ‘having kids can wreck your career’ (rising to 74% in millennials), 61% felt ‘having kids can wreck your self-confidence or your body’ (over 77% in millennials and Gen Z) and 49% felt ‘having kids can wreck your relationship’. Doesn’t sound great, does it?

So what’s the issue? Is it a kind of territorial ‘only mothers are allowed to talk (moan) about motherhood’ covenant? In the same way you’re allowed to moan about your friends, but if your partner tries, it’s just plain disrespectful? Maybe.

But the issue is that 70% of the women who were surveyed also felt that there’s a lack of honesty when it comes to speaking about life as a mother. Well, if that’s the case, then we really shouldn’t be drawing lines between mothers and the child-free. Surely we should be opening up those conversations and having them honestly. And yes, even if that means somebody saying something that you potentially don’t agree with or saying something that doesn't mirror your own experience. Surely that’s the point of a conversation?

Despite all the challenges, the majority of women (90%) told Good Housekeeping they felt that becoming a mother is worth it, despite how tough it can be. And maybe, if you discussed things with Roan and her friends beyond a flippant remark, clipped and memed for internet judgement and fury, they might’ve said the same. Two things can be true at once, and the sooner we understand that, the sooner we'll be able to accept that Roan’s comments might not have been as decisive or deep as they've been interpreted to be. And that they contained some truth — her truth at the very least.

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